It's not about you. It's about their lives.
But you can tell yourself that a million times, you can know it in your head, but that voice that keeps up in the back of your head confirms that you just suck - and the moment someone else joins in from the outside, it becomes a chorus that drowns everything else out.
On the other - take a look at what's been actually submitted so far this week: http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/734517.html It's fantastic stuff. Absolutely fantastic. You definitely wish there was more of it though (and that pretty much answers the "you should give us more time" crowd, confirming what you've long said, that the people who would write in the first couple of days will get in early regardless of the deadline, and those who are going to wait until last minute will just wait longer! ;P)
Seeing those entries, especially from the people without byes, who are still striving to stick with it - those make you feel good, like you are actually doing something worthwhile.
But it doesn't stop that weight that lingers in your skull, that drags you down now and then. The only good thing about that is that it doesn't do it nearly as often as it used to... it's not as hard and it's not as deep. Sometimes you are even able to forget about it, which just makes the blindside of it's return that much worse.
You just have to deal with the bad, and embrace the good. Which is what people will tell you. It's what they always say. They rarely follow it with their own lives, but it's easier to say it to someone else. You know that, because you're the same way.
The deadline for your entries is TONIGHT at 8PM EDT!! Make sure you are there!
Also - there is still one more slot open in this week's Killing Floor. So, if you've been interested in having some constructive criticism of your work, now is a great time to jump in!