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Green Room - Week 14 - Day 3

A couple of words can change someone’s day.

You can make them positive, and uplift them. You can make them negative and run them into an emotional brick wall.

You can make someone laugh. You can make someone hate you forever.

You can withhold a couple words and have the same impact. Sometimes things are better left unsaid. (Hall and Oates taught us that)

Some words, when withheld, can be devastating.

What words are you going to say today, and who are you going to say them to?

What words aren’t you going to say? I know a couple that I haven’t said, yet – that I look forward to saying to a "couple people" at some point. : ) (especially if today goes anything like yesterday!)

What sort of day are you going to create for the people around you?

And how many of those words are going to be in your entries this week? http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/688434.html (that are due tonight!!)


( 33 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 29th, 2013 01:56 pm (UTC)
Today, my goal is to hold back my words, some. Yesterday was a bad day and now it's time to do damage control. Weeee.

Tonight, though, I get to hang out at my old high school and silently cry on the inside with how talented the front ensemble of the marching band is and how I couldn't play better than these kids if I tried. I'm so glad the community voted for raising taxes to keep the arts programs going at Penn.
Aug. 29th, 2013 02:06 pm (UTC)
Woooooot, you're FIRST!
(no subject) - theun4givables - Aug. 29th, 2013 03:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - ecosopher - Aug. 29th, 2013 02:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - roina_arwen - Aug. 29th, 2013 02:33 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - ecosopher - Aug. 29th, 2013 02:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - roina_arwen - Aug. 29th, 2013 03:24 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - theun4givables - Aug. 29th, 2013 03:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - n3m3sis42 - Aug. 29th, 2013 04:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - roina_arwen - Aug. 29th, 2013 02:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - theun4givables - Aug. 29th, 2013 03:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 29th, 2013 02:07 pm (UTC)
Hey, Gary.

You're awesome.
Aug. 29th, 2013 02:28 pm (UTC)
Yes, I am...

oh, wait... um... you too...

(or something)
(no subject) - ecosopher - Aug. 29th, 2013 02:33 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 29th, 2013 02:20 pm (UTC)
I'm in the middle of a conversation about filters over on FB right now. It's interesting because it's bringing up a lot of stuff I haven't thought about in awhile.

I envy people who can shoot off their mouths in terms of saying what they exactly think and not caring how it may affect the other party. Nine times out of 10 the person shooting off his/her mouth is speaking a kernel of truth; it's the delivery that's the issue.

OTOH there are some of us who were never able to embrace this no-holds-barred way of communicating because we've witnessed how it affects both parties. Nine times out of 10 the person shooting off has no idea how their deliver affects the other party, and if you tell them such, you are either met with a great deal of remorse (until it happens again) or an utterly blank look.

Those of us who were never able to embrace it construct filters. We self-edit relentlessly because we don't want to be misconstrued in any way. We are very cognizant of how our words can affect others; ergo, sometimes it's better to maintain silence. We witness the fallout of someone being hurt by unfiltered words, or the unfiltered being unaware of how s/he comes across and don't wish to be part of either unless it concerns someone we care about. Then we go through a panic of sorts of how to word what we want to say.

I grew up in a family of little-to-no-filter females. I guess I have a lot more self-preservation than I thought I already had.
Aug. 29th, 2013 03:51 pm (UTC)
I have found myself moving from filtering myself constantly and the self-editing into no longer editing myself. Learning how to hold back on the delivery (while still speaking my mind) has been my new focus.

It's really hard, because I know my delivery needs work. Telling myself to calm down enough to figure out the right delivery and still say what I want to say is a whole 'nother story.
(no subject) - xo_kizzy_xo - Aug. 29th, 2013 04:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - n3m3sis42 - Aug. 29th, 2013 04:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - n3m3sis42 - Aug. 29th, 2013 04:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 29th, 2013 02:30 pm (UTC)
My goal is to always be more positive than negative. On the other hand, I'm from New York, so I'm less "OhMyGoshBubblyYay" than the average southerner / midwesterner, and a little more "Yo - this is how it is, deal."

(I currently live in KY, which is one of those states that border both areas of the US - some consider us the south, some don't).
Aug. 29th, 2013 02:37 pm (UTC)
I like your choice of icon. ;)
(no subject) - roina_arwen - Aug. 29th, 2013 03:23 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 29th, 2013 03:10 pm (UTC)
That sort of stuff totally depends on where I am and who I'm with. I try not to be too much of a jerk for no reason, but there are things I'd say on Facebook or at the bar with my friends that I'd never say at work, ya know? The idea of a captive audience is a huge thing for me. I'm all about "I'm gonna say what I'm gonna say, and if somebody doesn't like it, they know where the goddamn scroll button is" and this applies to other people as well - if I don't like what they have to say, I know where the scroll button is, and I know where the "reply" button is if I'd prefer to express an opposing viewpoint. But as long as I have the freedom to remove myself from the situation, there's no foul on them unless they're physically threatening me or otherwise breaking the law. I mean, I might think they're a jerk, and they might think I'm a jerk, but that's the extent of it. Work, however, is a different matter entirely - people *don't* have the freedom to just get up and leave or avoid the person who says stuff they're bothered by. They don't even necessarily have the option to express an opposing viewpoint, depending on the situation. So in cases like that, it's an entirely different ballgame, and the "dude, you need to STFU because you're being a fucking jackass" threshold is way lower.

Of course, there's also the issue of trying to respect friends and their comfort zones. If I've got a friend who gets extremely uncomfortable with political discussions, I'll tend to stay away from political topics when I'm hanging out with that friend, and if I'm over at a religious friend's house, I'll keep my obnoxious atheist rantings to myself (unless my friend is trying to convert me or something, in which case they won't be my friend for much longer, but I digress.) But all of this is about respecting the people I like and respect, and I absolutely want to make their days better, not ruin them. I do think there comes a point where people are responsible for their own good and bad days though. Friends are people I've chosen to let into my life, and by taking a job, I've accepted a respobsibility to not make life difficult for the people I work with. Everyone else, however, knows where the scroll button is.
Aug. 29th, 2013 03:27 pm (UTC)
We had a situation at work a couple of years ago where the offending party was transferred to a much-less desired position in another department because TPTB considered the party's words/actions to have a poisonous effect upon the coworkers in question. The offending party was gobsmacked about all this and still is -- if anything, being sequestered has had even more of a negative effect, IMO.

And this wasn't kidding-around lulz stuff being said either. This was plain, hurtful stuff brought on by the offending party's backstory AND lack of any kind of filter. If you told the OP [offending party] about responsibility and playing nice, you'd be met with one of those utterly blank stares. THAT still angers more people than anything else. It still blows me away in the "Really?!? You don't see the issue here? SERIOUSLY?" sense.

(no subject) - porn_this_way - Aug. 29th, 2013 08:17 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 29th, 2013 03:40 pm (UTC)
Well, I've been sick since last night, and the only words I need to be thinking about are the ones that are going in my entry, which, to be honest, isn't going well.
Aug. 29th, 2013 08:05 pm (UTC)
Less than 5 hours to go until the deadline, and only one entry in.

Will we have a default winner?

Or are the others making us wait?
Aug. 29th, 2013 08:25 pm (UTC)
My vote is making us wait.
(no subject) - lrig_rorrim - Aug. 29th, 2013 09:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - porn_this_way - Aug. 29th, 2013 09:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - anyonesghost - Aug. 29th, 2013 11:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 29th, 2013 09:13 pm (UTC)
I asked my FL if anyone would like to partner with me for a home-game entry, and oneonthefence readily agreed. I think the partnership is magic, personally. See if you agree.

Here's mine: http://alycewilson.livejournal.com/558168.html

Here's hers: http://oneonthefence.livejournal.com/611330.html

Edited at 2013-08-29 09:25 pm (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - alycewilson - Aug. 29th, 2013 09:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
( 33 comments — Leave a comment )


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