Looking back, it’s kind of scary to think about just where I was.
Part of what helped me get out of that funk was the people who came through the doors at Idol, who let me know exactly what it meant to them. Idol inspired them to go on and do more, to make changes in their lives that ended up being critical to be where they truly wanted to be, and do what they wanted to do.
Some of those people ended up being published, and they sent me photocopies of their book covers, in frames, to hang up on my wall. The point was that I could look at those pictures and know there was something in the universe that wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for my being around, doing what I was doing.
I think some people think that I’m joking about that. But I actually have framed photocopies of book covers on my wall.
Sure, they were the ones who did all the work, and went out and got published, but the drive they had to go out and do that (apparently) came from their time in Idol.
Over the years/seasons I’ve added to that wall. It’s quite the collection. I look at those frames and know that I have made a difference in some lives.
Which in turn makes me feel better.
Some credit me, and then later decide that I didn’t do anything for them at all. Some just blame me for the things that went wrong in their life while they were playing Idol. Some go back and forth, depending on when you catch them, exactly how much of an influence the experience was to them. Most people don’t really mention it either way.
I’m in a much better place than I was a few years ago. Light years better in many, many ways. But anyone who has “been there” knows that there is always that voice in the back of your head, doubting - hearing only the bad. Which is why the good means a great deal to me, knowing that the years spent on a diversion to keep myself occupied has turned into something that actually helps people in their own lives, and gives them the confidence to go after their dreams. Even it’s only a little bit extra, I’ll take it!
So, to those of you who have let me know what Idol has meant in your lives - Thank you. To those who haven’t really had their lives changed, in either direction, well, I hope you have at least had fun!
Sorry for getting so serious. Insert fart joke here, if you really need one.
Now go make sure people are submitting their topics http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/639904.html you stinking hippies!