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Green Room - Week 26 - Day 4

There are days when you can just rattle off the first bit of nonsense that comes to mind, and then there are days like these.

I’d trade days like these for nonsense days in a heartbeat. But then again, that’s part of the problem.

Long ago, in what seems like a completely different era, I had an assistant who routinely scolded me for not being hard enough on Idol contestants. She told me that I was naïve – that I couldn’t act like they were friends or that they would act like responsible adults.

In what seems like not that long ago, I’ve had other people scold me for treating problems between contestants as just that – problems between contestants, things that reasonable adults, responsible human beings could solve without needing some Big Brother to step in and treat them like children.

After all, we HAVE children who participate in Idol, and granted they were under the supervision of their parent(s) who monitored what they saw and interacted with, but they also behaved themselves well beyond their years.

So, the people getting worked up about being me “too nice” (their words) aside – it’s not unreasonable for the default to be “people are going to behave like adults”, until that is proved differently.

Unfortunately though, that means when it’s proven to not be the case, it’s usually at the level of being an actual problem.

In this specific case, although I was monitoring the votes that ended up mattering to an elimination (the people going/those who were close), I didn’t take the extra time to examine every single account to make sure no one had fallen into the trap of being an asshat about it.

I’m sure most people know what I’m talking about by now – but if you don’t, we did have a situation, and a voluntary withdrawal from the game over misuse of an alternate account for voting purposes.

The hell of it is, because you can’t verify if “Aunt Sue’s” account really IS your aunt, usually I can look into it a bit, and if it looks suspicious, and let it go with a warning that I don’t want to see it happen again.

The people who end up banned have all been doing it with multiple accounts and shown a disregard/almost joy over the idea that they were “getting one over”.

So, in this case, it’s less of the offense, and more of the cover-up. Which is often enough the case in such things.

ellakite has posted about his reasons for leaving on his own LJ, so I won’t go into it any further than I actually have – BUT I will say, if you are doing this as well, and I just haven’t caught up with you yet, you are on notice.

I understand that stress and self-esteem issues make you do all kinds of stupid things. But when that early assistant would point out those things – I would point to the fact that ultimately, you are playing for a title and an icon. The real prize is knowing that you can endure everything to make it to the end, and what you do with that knowledge in the rest of your life.

There is literally no reason to do it. But much like the contestant who claimed that Idol “ruined her life” because of how hard she was pushing herself (not just in Idol but in everything else) there is no accounting for the decisions people make that seem to defy logic.

I may actually BE as naïve as she thought I was. I may not be the hands-on out of control egotist that some people think you have to be to run a successful community. But despite this, I still believe that if you treat people as adults, they are going to act like adults more times than they don’t.

***

The topic is due today: http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/564152.html
The work room is open for those who still need a little extra help to get it done: http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/564316.html
And there is a Home Game for those wishing to participate: http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/564699.html

Most of all, there is hope that people will learn the right lesson from this – that there is nothing to gain and so much to lose and not even consider going down that path.

Comments

( 105 comments — Leave a comment )
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i_love_freddie
May. 7th, 2012 01:49 pm (UTC)
I find it sad when you just can't trust people to employ basic honesty.
i_love_freddie
May. 7th, 2012 01:53 pm (UTC)
And for what it's worth, I don't think you are being naive. I think you are right, the majority of us know how to behave like adults and appreciate being treated as such. I think this is just another example of a select few wanting to ruin things for everyone else.
(no subject) - pixiebelle - May. 7th, 2012 02:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
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ecosopher
May. 7th, 2012 02:04 pm (UTC)
I'm so sad about this, in so many ways.
noodledays
May. 7th, 2012 02:41 pm (UTC)
seconded. 8(
(no subject) - vaudy - May. 8th, 2012 12:20 am (UTC) - Expand
annaonthemoon
May. 7th, 2012 02:11 pm (UTC)
If Idol is "ruining your life", then it's probably a good reason to drop out. The whole point, IMHO, is that it is FUN. (and I'm still sad that I had to back out due to forgetting a deadline. Kicking myself over that still!)
pixiebelle
May. 7th, 2012 02:14 pm (UTC)
Exactly. If it ever comes to a point that I'm not enjoying myself or that I'm getting too hard on myself because of Idol, I'll sacrifice. It's never come to that and I would be surprised if it ever does.
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lawchicky
May. 7th, 2012 02:21 pm (UTC)
Again, I had NO idea that any of this had gone down until just now :(

The funny thing is that I feel like this situation is going to continue to effect me today. It's unexpected and sad, and I put a lot of time and energy into this contest, so it bothers me that someone would take advantage.

OK, I have to get to work. Happy Monday everyone- still trying to be cheerful!
roina_arwen
May. 7th, 2012 05:22 pm (UTC)
I never have any idea about these sorts of things either! *hugs*
pixiebelle
May. 7th, 2012 02:22 pm (UTC)
It makes me sad that it's shaken up your trust in us. As I commented above, it's not how you run this thing that's wrong. It's just that getting so many people together in a group means some of those people will do wrong one time or another. I think you do a great job of monitoring the group and I respect however you want to handle issues such as this.

I'm tired so I can't think clearly. I stayed up too late writing my entry last night. Sure, the prize might be an icon and a title, maybe that's not much in the grand scheme of things, but it's proven time and time again that it really has become something worth fighting for with certain people. Some just go about it in better ways than others.... I'm not one who could cheat and feel its justified, it would do more harm than good to my self-esteem and I'm aware of that. But trust me when I say that you've created something far more than a contest with a meager prize. To many of us, it's more than what we win in items or titles. So be proud of that, Gary and don't let a few people who do wrong now and then spoil how you look at the rest of us <3
alien_infinity
May. 7th, 2012 02:28 pm (UTC)
trust me when I say that you've created something far more than a contest with a meager prize.

This is so very true.
(no subject) - pixiebelle - May. 7th, 2012 02:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
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ecosopher
May. 7th, 2012 02:30 pm (UTC)
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
As I was just saying elsewhere, living so close to the International Date Line means that it's almost 10.30pm (aka The Future). I can thus assure all of you who are still to finish your Monday that it works out fine, despite a rough beginning. You can carry on, knowing that everything's going to be OK.

You're welcome.
tigrkittn
May. 7th, 2012 02:42 pm (UTC)
Re: PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
Best. Comment. Ever.
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medleymisty
May. 7th, 2012 02:31 pm (UTC)
I haven't had time to start on my entry yet - insanely busy weekend. But I'm on vacation, woo!

So I'm going to eat breakfast (or brunch, I guess?) here in a bit, take a shower, go for a walk, and then write and write and write. I have until 8 p.m. Should be long enough. :)

I tend to take things seriously and I try to do my best in everything I care about, so I probably do spazz out about Idol more than is necessary. But well - I spazz out about everything more than is necessary, lol. :) It's just who I am. I did get stressed last week with trying to comment on everything (non-Idol entries and entries by non-Idol friends as well as Idol entries) and be a good friend, but the friends I've made in Idol are truly awesome and they were like "Hey, it's cool to take some time to yourself and take a break for a bit."

To me the reward is in the writing, and then in sharing the writing. I don't stress myself out and push myself for an icon. I push myself for my own satisfaction, and for my friends. Writing is really really really deeply important to me. I have to do it to the best of my ability. I have to. I push myself with my writing because that's who I am. Well - like I wrote about for the "in your wheelhouse" entry. :)

So yeah - I do take Idol seriously, but not as a contest for a title and an icon. I take it seriously as a community to make friends and read a lot of great writing and learn and improve with my own writing. Writing is incredibly important to me, and so are relationships. And Idol combines those two in the best possible way. :) So yeah - I take it seriously, but in a good way, I think.
theafaye
May. 7th, 2012 02:43 pm (UTC)
Gary, I've said it before and I'll say it again. You are too nice. But that's why Idol is what it is. You run the group in a way that I wouldn't - but that's also why anything I did like this would be doomed to failure because I'd scare everyone away and ban those fool enough to remain. I think the one thing we can all count on is that you will always do what you think best for Idol. The rest of us are just lucky enough to be along for the ride.

As for non-Idol stuff, I had a lovely time at the event I was speaking at on Saturday. I met up with some people I hadn't seen since my oldest was a baby and met new people I'd heard a lot of good things about. It was good. And then I came home to discover that people who'd disagreed with my husband decided to go running around spreading malicious rumours about me because you know, hey, we're married, clearly we're the same person. Or could be. So best to be safe!

*sigh*

And now rain has stopped maypole dancing because I'm not going out in this.
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Bad rumours etc. - jacq22 - May. 8th, 2012 06:38 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Bad rumours etc. - theafaye - May. 8th, 2012 07:55 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Bad rumours etc. - jacq22 - May. 9th, 2012 10:28 am (UTC) - Expand
drjeff
May. 7th, 2012 02:45 pm (UTC)
I approach this the same way I approach most other things - with the knowledge that people are doing the best that they can as they go through their day. If I see a panhandler by the side of the road, I don't question whether their "down and out" status is genuine. For that person, on that day, that's what they've got. If I give, I give in the knowledge that I'll never know that person's real story.

In Idol, just like everywhere else, things happen that cause us to "go to the well" and pull up whatever we can. We've all got different stuff down there. Doesn't make any of us less worthwhile, or less deserving, or less of a person.

In the long run, it's a game. Everyone needs to play it in their own way. If I were to get eliminated because someone else felt the need to be less-than-above-board, well, then, that's life. At that point it's time to move on to the next thing.

That being said, putting this kind of stress into the LJI system will result in all the contestants reacting in a way that they feel works for them. And to that I say more power to you all. Hope that you can work it out and move on, whatever form that takes. The game will rise above all of this, as it always has. And I know the contestants will too.
notodette
May. 7th, 2012 03:41 pm (UTC)
This might be the best comment I've ever read in Idol. Ever.
(no subject) - drjeff - May. 7th, 2012 05:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
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serpentpixie
May. 7th, 2012 02:47 pm (UTC)
..... er, what?
Acts like this make me despair of the human race.

You also know that I think you do a damn fine job and if a few insecure people on the internet want to come out and throw tomatoes then you should just ignore them. In then end they're only hurting themselves and that's just silly.

Also I know I made the right decision to bail (busybusybusyEEK), and I don't regret it -- but I miss hanging out here and I miss playing in your Idol Sandpit. *Waves banner of missing Idol*
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not_hothead_yet
May. 7th, 2012 02:49 pm (UTC)
I have to say, this really ticks me off; I had no idea anyone would do such a ridiculous thing. I have THREE alternate LJs (Made for legal reasons) that are probably not traceable to me but it never even occurred to me do use them for voting myself to stay in. Not that I would because I wanted to stay in because people liked my work. I already know *I* like my work!

It irks me primarily because when I was voted out of second chance, IRRC I was voted out by lack of three votes. THREE. Is it possible I could have stayed in if nobody was double-dipping? Maybe. And that maybe ticks me off.
not_hothead_yet
May. 7th, 2012 02:51 pm (UTC)
(especially since the entry I posted that got voted off was one of my most popular tales and I retold it in a new way. It was also my first "upbeat" story so I was kind of "WTF?" about losing)
ashgaelsonaria
May. 7th, 2012 02:51 pm (UTC)
It is always unfortunate when someone drops for any reason, more so when it's because of someone else behaving in an unseemly manor. I like ellakite. Tis truely a bumer.
That being said I wish to remind people to vote. Freand computer says so. Freand computer says to behave nicely. Freand computer reminds all nice citizens to link their peace's to the correct page. Remember only commy mutant traitors would fail to do so.
whipchick
May. 7th, 2012 03:42 pm (UTC)
A little gift for everyone - wrote a meta piece over on the home game thread. In case you need a light moment :)

And here's a shout-out to the Home Game Thread - let's read 'em, and support 'em, because it takes guts and energy to keep contributing to the community when there's no prize in the offing. These people are in it for the love of writing - love 'em back!

similiesslip
May. 7th, 2012 04:54 pm (UTC)
Agreed. The Home Game writers are impressive:)
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kathrynrose
May. 7th, 2012 04:08 pm (UTC)
Hugs to you, my friend.

I could just say, "What theafaye said." But where's the fun in that?

Idol is tremendously successful because you are at the helm. I haven't always agreed with everything (whch you know because I tell you.) :) but I'm a "b" and would run people off if I tried this.

Once upon a time I was one of the over-stressing over-reacters, and as such I can say that it's not Idol that's ruining anyone's life. Idol is a mirror, though, and sometimes when we look in a mirror we see things we don't like.

So sometimes we say or do stupid things, and yet there you are, always standing by and being the grown up and having faith in us anyway. And there are far too few thanks in that, because who thinks to give the love to the voice of reason?

Hugs.
pixiebelle
May. 7th, 2012 06:18 pm (UTC)
This comment is great. Idol is a mirror and it's one reason my therapist thinks it's good for me. It brings out issues from time to time that are bigger than Idol, and these issues are my own demons to deal with. I don't blame the group or Gary or any members of the group for causing my problems, I know they come from within. If anything, I'm much stronger than I was in Season 6 because of what I learn through here.

And Gary doesn't get enough praise for how awesome he handles all this. He really doesn't.
(no subject) - kathrynrose - May. 7th, 2012 07:24 pm (UTC) - Expand
joyfulfeather
May. 7th, 2012 04:45 pm (UTC)
I'm a stickler for rules. They're there for a reason. I can sort of understand someone breaking the rules against their own better judgment, out of personal/emotional reasons. That seems to be the case here. While I think it was foolish and wrong, and that self-esteem issues do *not* justify ut, at least I can sort of understand the weakness. We all do dumb stuff that we know we shouldn't do at some point in our lives.

What I cannot and will not ever understand are the other type you mentioned - the ones who do it just to "get one over" on the authorities. Who thumb their noses and think that following the rules is for suckers. I *hope* none of those people are in Idol currently, and if they are, that they're caught and publicly hanged. There is no reason for that kind of stupidity.
drjeff
May. 7th, 2012 07:45 pm (UTC)
Ah, but I think people who spend their time trying to "get one over" on the authorities are also dealing with personal/emotional reasons for living their lives that way, yanno?

I don't know... the older I get, the clearer it becomes that no one ever really knows what people are up to. We're too complicated! :)
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