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Green Room - Sign Up Week - Day 6

There is still time to sign up! https://therealljidol.livejournal.com/1060711.html

So spread the word!


Today is a rough one.

For those who don't know, back in 2006 I had an idea for this thing to keep me busy and maybe entertain a few of my friends in the process. 9 of my friends signed up to be a part of it. I thought it could be something more, and decided to keep doing it. Every season continued to grow (until LJ itself started to shrink) and 13 years later, here we are.

One of those friends was Tracy, who (as tinhuviel) ended up winning the first season.

Eventually, she used that motivation, and a connection made through Idol, to publish her trilogy - The Vampire Relics. https://www.amazon.com/Tracy-Angelina-Evans/e/B0074D6BIG?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_fkmr0_1&qid=1568126726&sr=8-1-fkmr0

Over the last few months, I've been digging a lot in the archives. Which is why in the last week or so I've been sending out some emails, calling people home. :)

One of those reasons was the practical one of compiling information. The other was purely sentimental.

Something that became really clear during that search was the people who came every time I sent out that call. Tracy was one of those people.

Not as a player. (there was quite a long time when previous winners couldn't play, until I lifted that rule), but as a Gatekeeper, Mentor, or whatever role needed to be filled. 13 years after the fact - regardless of what was going on in her life, she was down to help out. To help Idol.

In late Feb/early March, she lost her long battle with depression.

I refer to everyone as damn foreigner hippies that need to be kicks who all look alike to me... except for my winners. They are numbers (or letters in the case of mini seasons).

Tracy is, was, and will always be, 1.

The first winner. The one who helped inspire this whole thing to move forward.

Starting a season without her feels weird. But I also know that she would want this to succeed. That she would believe in it. That, when the call went out, that she would be rooting for all of you.

Today is Tracy's birthday.

The first birthday since we lost her.

Reach out today to someone you might have lost touch with.
Tell people how you feel.
If you are struggling, please hang on for just a little bit longer.
If you know someone who is, do whatever you can to help them do that.
Listen to some Shriekback (her favorite band) and hunt down some Jedi. (she was a die-hard Sith)

Oh, and send out the call to get people to sign up for this season of Idol. :) She could never resist a good plug with an awkward transition. :D


( 32 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 10th, 2019 03:06 pm (UTC)
Now I have to kick YOU, for making me cry at work!!

(Also, frist??)
Sep. 10th, 2019 05:45 pm (UTC)
Same here! (Crying at work).

Sep. 10th, 2019 03:17 pm (UTC)
Such sad news. So, so sorry for your loss.
Sep. 10th, 2019 03:18 pm (UTC)
I tried to pull it out there at the end being a little more lighthearted, although still totally serious - SPREAD THE WORD!!!

But in case the rest of it was too heavy, pretend I just wrote a bunch of fart jokes. :)
Sep. 10th, 2019 03:27 pm (UTC)
Tracy was amazing. She was one of the kindest people I've met. She'd give the shirt off her back to just about anyone she met.

I met her through Idol, but mostly got to know her when I took over Fey Publishing. She became a very close friend after that.

We lost touch near the end. I tend to think I'm bothering people by reaching out to them, so I rarely do it. I let them come to me, which I know is a mistake. I just hate feeling like I'm burdening people. She removed many of her close friends of Facebook at the end, and I'll never know why. But I kick myself every day for not reaching out. I don't think I could have changed anything - not only was she depressed, but she was also in a lot of physical pain. I don't think there's anything I could have said or done to change things. But it still makes me sad.

I regret not being able to meet her in real life. She lived in San Diego while I lived in Orange County, but neither of us had a car. She later moved away before we could ever meet up.

I'm currently trying to access the Amazon account to make her books free for Idolers to download. I haven't really touched that account in a while since I'm not able to devote time to Fey Publishing at the moment, so that's no easy feat. But I'm working on it. I know she would have liked that.
Sep. 10th, 2019 04:05 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I think she would have loved to let folks download her books. She probably would have talked to Barry and worked out a soundtrack to go with it. :D

I'm personally grateful to you for making this comment. Because she unfriended me too, about a month or so before and I never knew why. I thought maybe I had done something stupid. I'm more than capable of that. Or maybe she was just doing a friends cut.

I never got to meet her in "real life" either but we did talk on the phone a couple times. Once was definitely pre-Idol and I think the other time was in Season 3. She was so funny.

But yeah, the physical pain she was in (due what she, and others have described as the fatal condition of being poor and a lack of access to health care in America) only made things seem more helpless to her. There wasn't a lot that any of us could have done for her, but I think that collectively, we did manage to keep her with us a few years longer.

(no subject) - pixiebelle - Sep. 10th, 2019 05:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 10th, 2019 03:31 pm (UTC)
I was thinking of Tracy this morning when her birthday came up in my LJ announcements. She was one of the most supportive people when I was in Idol...always encouraging. Idol is a little bit sadder without her but as you said, she'd want this crazy project to continue and would want much fun to be had.
Sep. 10th, 2019 04:02 pm (UTC)
I never got to know her. But I always recognized her name when it came up as one of the grand revered Idol elders (as opposed to Gary who was the greatly cursed bastard, otherwise known as that asshole).

I'm home sick today.

A few minutes ago, I made a pathetic fake cough and said "I'm sick." Unfortunately my spouse has never watched Mean Girls, so he failed to reply with the appropriate response.

I'm stupidly looking forward to having a prompt go up. I mean, that is the reason I signed up again-- to write.
Sep. 10th, 2019 04:07 pm (UTC)
There will be one up before the end of the week. Just trying to get a few more butts in the seats, so to speak, before this ship takes off.
(no subject) - cacophonesque - Sep. 10th, 2019 04:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - halfshellvenus - Sep. 11th, 2019 11:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - clauderainsrm - Sep. 11th, 2019 11:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - cacophonesque - Sep. 11th, 2019 11:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - halfshellvenus - Sep. 11th, 2019 11:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 10th, 2019 04:20 pm (UTC)
It is very sad. I lost someone to suicide a lot of years ago, and in my past struggled with those thoughts as well. It can feel very hopeless. But for anyone struggling, you are not alone, and it doesn’t have to be hopeless. Sometimes it helps just to talk. Feel free to reach out.

Thank you for bringing this up Gary!
Sep. 10th, 2019 04:53 pm (UTC)
So, has anyone else gone back to read some of their old Idol entries and wondered how they survived as many rounds as they did? Or is that just me?

I mean, there were a few entries that I still like, all these years later. But many more that didn't seem all that special at all.

Is it just that there are a lot of other ADHDers in Isol, so they didn't notice just how long it takes me to get to the point? 😂
Sep. 10th, 2019 05:45 pm (UTC)
*raises hand* I fluctuate between finding ones I think are pure genius and ones that make me wonder what everyone was smoking to allow me to carry on after THAT.
(no subject) - roina_arwen - Sep. 10th, 2019 05:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - pixiebelle - Sep. 10th, 2019 06:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - clauderainsrm - Sep. 10th, 2019 06:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - me_sonrei - Sep. 10th, 2019 06:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kittenboo - Sep. 10th, 2019 07:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 10th, 2019 06:32 pm (UTC)
I've been reaching out to friends and trying to let them know that Idol is starting and they should join in.

I haven't had any luck yet, but I've been spreading the good word!
Sep. 11th, 2019 01:16 am (UTC)
I have too! I also posted on facebook, twitter, two online writing groups... Ooh, I'll have to post on instagram next! I hope someone gets here from those places, that would be awesome. I hope your peeps get on over here too! :D
(no subject) - me_sonrei - Sep. 11th, 2019 05:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 11th, 2019 01:21 am (UTC)
That's so sad about Tracy. I didn't know her personally, but knew her username. It's so hard when people suffer that greatly. It's good she had people here who loved and supported her. It sounds like she definitely would've been happy to see the competition continuing. Big hugs to you, Gary. And a kick in the shins, too, because that seems the best way to keep balance in these confusing times. ;)

I've been trying to drag people over here, but they sure do kick and scream a lot. :P Hopefully a few will find their way over.
Sep. 11th, 2019 11:49 am (UTC)
I only knew her by her username too but I have friends from here including Gary who actually knew her. She had a long history with her issues from what I understand. I've never read any of her work but maybe I should.
Sep. 11th, 2019 03:20 am (UTC)

Wow.  I have the first book on kindle. Probably got it free and haven't even looked at it.  Wil definitely move it up the "to be read" list.

Sep. 11th, 2019 03:53 am (UTC)
Sep. 11th, 2019 08:19 pm (UTC)

Oh, the tender reminder to reach out is a dear one.

Sep. 11th, 2019 11:14 pm (UTC)
For all of you who knew Tracy and are missing her, I'm so sorry.

I came to Idol too late to know her as more than a much-revered username, but it's clear she had many friends here and was very much loved. I'm sure that helped, for as long as it possibly could.

*hugs to you all*
( 32 comments — Leave a comment )


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